Dear Shy Woman in the Bikram Yoga Changing Room:
I know you might be feeling a little ashamed of your body. This must be why you are choosing to change in the bathroom stall or the shower, even though the rest of us are stripping off our clothes in the general area. However, we only have three bathroom stalls and two showers (one of which has a shower head that is finicky, causing even the quickest person to take more time in the shower). While we're standing outside waiting for you to modestly put your street clothes on, we could have been in and out of the shower you are taking up already.
Yes, you probably have some body part you don't like so much. Well, join the club. Many of us have some cellulite and flab around the middle. This should not stop you from changing in front of everyone else. Maybe you think you have a super nice body that everyone will want to admire and stare at? Well, we can reassure you, none of us are predatory lesbians. If there are lesbians in the Bikram Yoga Changing Room, they've never been obvious and slapped our asses or anything. So don't be afraid!
We also have some very disappointing news for you: As much as you think changing behind closed doors means we can't see the worst aspects of your body, think again. We've already seen it in class. No matter how much you cover up in Bikram, we can still tell if you have a fat ass, big thighs, or a tummy. We can tell if you have some stretch marks or cellulite on your legs. But you should not feel bad about these things! You are not a freak of nature! You are a normal woman with "flaws" like the rest of us!
We're too busy trying to do our Bikram Yoga pose right to be judging your body. If anything, we might be envious that, even though you might weigh a little more, you are clearly more flexible and strong than we are. Or let's say you are a beginner and struggle with every pose. We might be an intermediate still struggling with every pose. Either way, we're proud of you for showing up. Mostly, we just think it's great that people of all shapes, sizes and ages do Bikram Yoga.
Please join us out in the regular changing room and stop worrying about what people are going to think about your dimply ass. If anything, we're worrying about our own dimply ass.
The Other Women Waiting for the Bathroom or Shower